Where do I Belong?

I'm blessed with foresight, yet couterbalanced with a diasporic soul. A question always comes to my mind...that is "where do I belong?". Many times I've tried to keep my feet on the ground, and eyes affixed beyond the horizon..yet i seem to possess disillusions and an insatiable thirst to go beyond where most beyond my age will venture.

I feel a connection to aesthetically appreciative people, and disconnected with most my age. Why is it that I cannot enjoy what a 24 yr old should / could enjoy? why is it that I can see the far future but not the near ones? Why is it that my agua de beber is so different from everyone else. Am I a 28 year old living in a 24 yr old's body? I say this becuase everywhere I go / interact that the general feel is that I'm "matured" for my age, the way I dress, speak and carry myself. I just can't help it. Whatever a case, this discord between those my age has definitely contributed to this diaspora.

How contraticting and dichotomous isn't it? The gleaming confidence of decisively knowing what should be done in many situations in my own life / other people's lives is unmistakable, and the drive for success is insatiable. Yet I feel lost. Imagine walking in a pair of shoes without soles? Or reading without glasses? sleeping without a pillow? Playing a piano chord that clashes incorrectly, or cooking without a fire...the list is endless

Something is really missing here...and I have no clue whatsoever that is...I appear ever confident knowing what I want etc. but I know that I'm but an empty shell...I seek to affix my soul / thoughts somewhere...the comfort of certainty...

Sigh...perhaps we can never have the best of both worlds...certainty is mitigated by a snail pace towards one's development...and undertainty can allow one to spiritually tower over others / drop him deeper down under.

Until then...the search for a place to rest my feet and soul continues to burden me...